Visited the cemetery again today, a cold and dreary day. Left two little gifts graveside, chocolate candies again. That's one of the things that remind me of her. Christmas has always been a difficult season for me, even as a small child. This year was no different and probably will always be a difficult time. Spent Christmas Eve until Christmas morning [10pm to 6am] volunteering in my weekly job at Middlesex Hospital in the Hospice unit. Someone passed away on Christmas morning in the same room that Jean did; that brought back too many memories. December 19th she went to the Emergency Room and came home then went back on the 20th and was admitted. Never came home again, died on February 10 and buried on St Valentine's Day.
Christmas is a time of giving but it has become a time of receiving too often. We try to give what we think the recipient wants. What we give has become a mirror of our love but too often a showpiece for others to see. I fall into this trap very easily also. But as I stood at the gravesite today I realized that a greater gift would be one that all would benefit from. That which is really needed is a world of peace [and light and understanding]. So in addition to my two little gifts of chocolate I prayed. I prayed not for anyone's soul but for world peace, something from which we could all benefit.
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